Hello you! Welcome back, it’s so lovely to see you again. Today, we’re taking a few deep breaths (literally), as we explore how fear affects the breath. We’ll take a look at what really happens to our breath when fear or anxiety show up, and why it sometimes leaves us feeling a little off balance.
So, as always, grab a seat, get comfy, and let’s take the next step in our friendship with fear.
💡 A Little Note Before We Begin
This post was originally going to cover everything about the breath and fear — from the science-y bits to the soothing techniques. But as it turns out, the topic has a lot more depth (and detail!) than expected, so I’ve decided to split it into two parts.
This first post focuses on what’s going on underneath: getting to know the breath a little better, and understanding how fear (and anxiety) can quietly reshape it without us even realising. Part Two (Breathe In, Calm Out) will guide us through some gentle breathing techniques we can work with when fear or anxiety strike.
Now, before we move on – I feel we need a little recap.
Reflecting Back: Fear vs Anxiety?
In my last post (Same dread, different thread!), we explored the difference between fear and anxiety, and I left you with a question:
“When you think about your spotlight, is it fear you’re feeling, or is it anxiety?”
If you didn’t get a chance to ponder that question, no worries at all. Life gets busy, and reflection often comes in its own time. But if you do feel ready now, maybe take a quiet moment to check in and ask yourself. It’s worth it — I promise (even if what I’m about to say next might sound a little contradictory).
Because, as important as that reflection is, truth be told, what comes next will help with both. Fear and anxiety, while different in origin, often show up in very similar ways in our breath.
So, today’s post focuses on the bittersweet nature of the breath. It can be our saviour, but it can also be a bit of a panic inducer — and we’ll explore why as we go. Okay, that’s the recap all sorted. So, let’s pause for a moment, take a breath, and gently move on to how fear plays with our breathing.
Inhale, Exhale, & Relax
Humour me for a moment — let’s check in with how we’re breathing right now.
If you can, close your eyes and simply notice your breath. There’s no right or wrong here — just gentle curiosity, and maybe a small moment of calm (which, let’s face it, we could all use).
No need to change anything — simply observe how your breath feels for a few inhales and exhales. Go ahead, take your time, and most importantly, enjoy the peace for a minute or two.
And whenever you’re ready, open those lovely eyes — because here’s the thing.
Breathing’s Easy, Right?
Yes, it is — in theory. But after a recent breathwork retreat (and trust me, that’s a whole other blog post in itself!), I was shocked to discover I’d been breathing all ‘wrong.’ Who knew something so natural could be so…complicated?
To be fair, because breathing is both natural and essential to life, we don’t often pause to notice how we’re doing it. It’s not exactly something we’re taught — from the moment we’re born, we just get on with it. But what if we approached the way we breathe as something to explore and learn from, just like how we walk, talk, or even listen? Breathing can be nurtured like any skill – if we’re prepared to give it a little attention.
Breathing As It Was Meant to Be
So, what did my retreat show me about the breath? Well, two things actually and while they may sound simple at first glance, they completely changed how I relate to my breath.
To help you explore them too, think back to that little moment of calm from a few paragraphs ago. If you can, ask yourself the following two questions:
1. What Did You Notice About Your Breathing?
Because there’s a more natural, more nourishing way to breathe — one that many of us have lost touch with over time. It’s important because this way of breathing supports our nervous system, encourages calm, and creates a sense of physical and emotional ease. And surprisingly, it doesn’t involve breathing only from the chest.
Some people call it belly breathing (I cover this over in Part Two: 🌿→ belly breathing), but personally, I think the balloon analogy says it best. Imagine your breath is like blowing up a balloon: you breathe in, and it expands. Then, if you let go before tying it (which happens to me every time — I hate balloons!), it slowly deflates. Our breath can follow the same pattern — as we inhale, the belly gently expands; as we exhale, it naturally softens back in.
If you’re into yoga, this may sound familiar — the breath often guides us through downward-facing dog and all the other lovely yoga poses. But even then, it can be tricky to grasp at first. If you’re anything like me, you’re focused on staying upright, and the breath ends up somewhere in the background.
So, when I was trying to figure this out, I found that lying down with one hand on my stomach helped a lot. It lets you feel the expansion and release more clearly, with the added bonus of giving you a moment to rest (not that I ever need an excuse!).
2. And Where Were You Breathing From?
Did you notice if you were breathing through your nose, your mouth — or a combination of both?
It turns out, most of our breathing should happen through the nose. Why? Well, nose breathing helps regulate airflow, supports the parasympathetic nervous system (that’s the one responsible for rest, digestion, and recovery), and encourages the diaphragm to do its job. Or more simply: it helps us feel calmer and naturally draws the breath deeper into the body and as we now know, that’s a very good thing.
Mouth breathing, on the other hand — particularly over the long term — can be a tad problematic. Think: dry mouth, jaw tension, poor sleep, and even heightened anxiety. And more specifically (considering today’s topic), it can lead to faster, shallower breathing, which we’ll be chatting about in just a few paragraphs’ time.
If any of this has piqued your interest, I highly recommend the aptly named book, Breath by James Nestor (I’ve linked to his website for more information 🌿→ mrjamesnester.com). It’s a fascinating read — and he explains the science and subtlety of all this far better than I ever could.
So How Do We Give Our Breath the Attention It Deserves?
Well, that gentle pause we took a few paragraphs ago? It might have seemed simple, calming — or maybe even a little boring. Some call it mindfulness, others call it meditation. Whatever resonates with you, the result is the same: it offered a brief moment of stillness. A quick, quiet way to bring our attention back to ourselves — and to offer our breath the care and attention it sometimes needs.
Because when we know how we’re breathing in any given moment, we start to understand our natural breath. And from there, we get to know what our ‘normal’ breath truly feels like. We can even begin to spot the subtle signs that anxiety might be sitting with us.
Your Breath Is Your Friend
In my earlier blogs, we talked about making friends with fear — learning to sit with it, understand it, and walk alongside it.
The breath can be a lot like that dependable friend we all have. The one who’s incredible in a crisis, calm under pressure, and always seems to know exactly what to say. But if you don’t really understand them (or catch them on an ‘off’ day), they can be a little unpredictable. They’re well-intentioned, love us dearly — but sometimes, they can accidentally add to the chaos.
But — just like with fear — when we take the time to understand our breath, it becomes a true ally: steady, grounding, and always there when we need it most. Especially when fear or anxiety starts to get a little devious.
Fear and Anxiety Can Be Quiet Too
Turns out, fear and anxiety don’t just interfere with our breathing when panic is in full swing. Sometimes, they’re sneaky little devils, quietly meddling with our breath even when everything feels okay. You might not even notice it — a slightly tighter chest, shallower breaths, or maybe holding your breath without realising. These subtle shifts can build over time, quietly setting the stage for more tension in the body.
Fear and anxiety really are shadowy little characters — so let’s put them under the spotlight, where they belong, and explore what they actually do to our breath.
Double Trouble: Inhale, Exhale, Panic!
Whether the changes to our breath are obvious or subtle, they usually fall into two main categories:
1. How We Breathe
Fast and Shallow Breathing
Why it happens: Remember that old inbuilt alarm system — the fight-or-flight response — we talked about back in Blog One: Spotlight? When this gets triggered, your body wants more oxygen in the muscles, fast. Why? So that if you need to run away or fight, you can. The breath is what moves that oxygen around quickly to where it’s needed most.
Is this fear or anxiety: Typically, fast breathing kicks in during those moments of immediate fear, panic, or danger. So, we’ll pop this one in the ‘I’m about to be eaten by a bear, I need to leave now!’ category.
Go-to technique: 🌿→ Try Box Breathing — a structured, steadying practice that’s especially helpful when things feel fast, tight, or panicky. If you’d like to give it a go, feel free to hop over to Blog 3b.
Irregular Breathing
Why it happens: Panic can disrupt your natural rhythm, and your breathing can become choppy or uneven. This irregular pattern can contribute to a sense of fear or unease — not particularly helpful when you’re already feeling that way (thanks, biology!).
Is this fear or anxiety: Irregular breathing tends to sit more in the anxiety camp. When the body senses danger but isn’t facing an immediate threat, the breath can become unsettled. That said, during intense periods of fear — or during a panic attack — breathing can also feel irregular. In moments like that, the body’s survival alarm system kicks in automatically, whether the danger is real, perceived, or simply anticipated.
Because when it comes to feeling safe, our bodies would always rather overreact than under-react — and rightly so! (We’ll touch a little more on panic attacks towards the end of this post).
Now Hang On, What Does Irregular Breathing Feel Like?
It’s easy to throw around terms like irregular breathing — but unless you’ve felt it, it can be hard to picture what it really means. For me, it’s that unsettling feeling that you can’t quite catch your breath. I often notice it when I’ve been away from running for a while. Not because of fear, but thanks to my all-too-familiar inconsistent workout routine — yet it captures the feeling all the same.
About six minutes in, I’ll realise that my breath isn’t quite finding its rhythm. When I breathe in, it doesn’t fully fill my lungs. And when I exhale, it feels like I’m pushing every last bit of air out. Then it repeats: a shallow inhale, a long, straining exhale, and a growing sense of being out of sync with myself. Not exactly the most recommended breathing pattern — on a run, or in life.
Go-to technique: 🌿→ Head to 4–7–8 Breathing — especially helpful when your breath feels choppy or hard to catch. It’s slow, calming, and works well during anxious spirals or restless nights.
Breath-Holding
Why it happens: Ever notice yourself holding your breath in a tense moment? This one’s a real pickle for me (and I know I’m not alone). It’s a response to stress — a kind of unconscious ‘bracing’ for whatever might come next. The problem is, it creates a buildup of tension in the body. And if you’re an anxious soul like me, you might even find yourself holding it all in — even during the calmer moments of life, without even realising it.
This was a stark realisation for me during my retreat, something I hadn’t quite noticed until I was sat in the rice paddies of Bali (cliche I know, but true).
Is this fear or anxiety? Well, breath-holding can happen when fear strikes, especially if the freeze response kicks in but it’s even more common with longer-term anxiety. It’s the body’s way of bracing itself, even when there’s no immediate threat.
Go-to technique:🌿→ Pop to Belly breathing which is a gentle way to reconnect with your breath when your body’s bracing without you even realising. Simple, grounding, and perfect for easing tension.
2. Where We Breathe From
Chest Breathing
Why it happens: ‘It’s where the lungs are, right?’ Correct. However, breathing just from the chest, during times of fear leads to shallow, shorter, and faster breaths. And as we know by now, this isn’t the most helpful pattern unless we really do need to fight or run away.
Is this fear or anxiety: Well, in my opinion, chest breathing can fall into both camps. It often shows up during immediate fear (as part of the fight-or-flight response), but it can also become a default breathing pattern for those living with longer-term anxiety. Over time, chest breathing can keep the body in a subtle state of tension — even when no immediate threat is present.
Mouth Breathing
Why it happens: Panic can make us switch from breathing through our noses to our mouths. This increases the number of breaths we take, which ramps up the feeling of panic and often throws the breath into an irregular pattern. And as we know by now — both mouth breathing and irregular breathing aren’t our friends, whether we’re facing fear or just trying to get through a run!
Is this fear or anxiety: Technically, it’s both. In genuine danger, the fight-or-flight response can trigger mouth breathing to push more oxygen to the muscles — so we can run or act fast. But outside of those life-or-death moments, when anxiety is the culprit, mouth breathing can quietly become our new normal.
P.S. If you’re wondering what breathing technique can help with both chest and mouth breathing, Belly Breathing is your best friend. You’ll find it in Blog 3b 🌿→ Belly Breathing.
🌿 A Gentle Note on Panic Attacks
For some of us (myself included), the stress, fear, and pressure we face in modern life can quietly build — until suddenly, it feels like everything hits at once. A racing heart, breath all over the place, and the terrifying sense that we can’t breathe at all. It’s overwhelming, and frankly, frightening. What makes it harder is that in those moments, the way we breathe can actually intensify the panic.
I don’t feel this is the right time to explore panic attacks in depth — they deserve their own dedicated space. But I do want to say this: if you have, or are currently experiencing panic attacks, you are not alone. They are distressing, but with the right support and techniques, they can be overcome — or at the very least, eased and managed over time.
If panic attacks are part of your world, I’ve included a gentle resource link for Mind (🌿→ mind.org). They offer helpful information and guidance. And please know this: your breath can still be your ally, even when it feels like it’s disappeared.
Time to Take a Step Back
So, as we’ve seen, fear and anxiety can quietly (or not so quietly) cause all kinds of mischief in the way we breathe — from fast and shallow to completely held in. It really can be an unsettling experience. But fear not (excuse the pun) — there are ways we can use the breath to our advantage. And we’ll explore those gentle, grounding techniques in Part Two: Breathe In, Calm Out.
After all, this post wasn’t just about what can go wrong — it was about getting to know our breath a little better. And maybe, just maybe, starting to see it not as a problem to fix, but as a friend worth listening to.
But Until Then…
As always, I’ll leave you with two questions:
- Where in your day could you pause for just one calm breath?
2. How might your friendship with fear shift with just a quiet pause and a breath?
Just a little something to ponder until we meet again in Blog 3b.
I’ll see you soon!
Charlotte 🪷
P.S. If you’re curious who thought befriending fear (and researching the breath a little too thoroughly!) was something that needed to be done, feel free to click here 🌿→ to see my About Me page.
And if you’re gently exploring how to soften fear’s grip — one breath at a time — you can read more about my 1:1 coaching here 🌿 → My Coaching.
