Hello you, welcome back! Ready for the next chapter in our breathing journey? Because today’s post is all about breathing techniques for – you guessed it – fear and anxiety.
So, as always — take a seat, get comfy, and take a deep breath. Let’s create some calm and stillness in this moment before we begin. And when you’re ready, allow me to recap.
Reflecting Back: How Are You Breathing?
In part one, (Breathe In, Panic Out: How Fear Affects The Breath), we looked at the some of the ways fear and anxiety affect our breath – from the obvious (fast & shallow) to the sneaky (holding & irregular). We also explored how we ‘should’ be breathing and where we ideally need to breathe from.
I also left you with two questions:
- Where in your day could you pause for just one calm breath?
- How might your friendship with fear shift with just a quiet pause and a breath?
If you took a moment to reflect — I’m impressed. And if not, that’s okay too (life has a habit of filling every moment possible). Honestly, if you haven’t read Blog 3a yet, no worries at all — these techniques work just as well if you’re starting with a fresh pair of lovely eyes.
If you did, you may have noticed a small pause in your day. Maybe it was when you were waiting for the kettle to boil, or before replying to that annoying work email. Or it might have been a brief second of calm when stuck in rush hour traffic (if so, I take my hat off to you — road rage is such a difficult thing to stop!).
Perhaps you found yourself facing a fearful or anxiety-inducing situation and noticed how it changed your breathing. Or maybe you simply became aware that you took a breath before stepping into something challenging.
However small, those moments of realisation matter. And they’re exactly what today’s techniques are here to build on.
Breathing Techniques For Fear & Anxiety
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to calming the breath. In my world, while many things connect us, we’re all wonderfully unique. What works for me might not always work for you — and vice versa. That said, the first three techniques we’re about to explore do target specific breathing patterns, but that doesn’t mean you can’t mix and match.
Start where you are. There’s no ‘perfect’ way to breathe — only the way that feels most comfortable to you in any given moment. Some techniques may feel a bit odd at first (which is perfectly normal!), but with a little practice, they can become your trusted breathing tools.
And for my fellow shy souls (you know who you are), it’s absolutely okay if trying new techniques feels a little daunting at first. There’s no pressure here.
Most importantly, follow your own guide and avoid forcing something just because someone else says it should work. Honestly, I’ll say it — the health and wellness world can sometimes make us feel a little pressured to do things just because they’re the ‘done thing.’ But in reality, we’re all allowed to follow our own paths — and so we should.
That’s not to say those of us in the wellness world aren’t well-intentioned (because most are). But sometimes, it can leave us feeling as if we’re not doing things ‘right’ or that we’re somehow falling short. Let me tell you — while feeling that way is completely valid, the truth is nobody has all the answers. We’re all here to learn. And we’re all adults here.
And With This in Mind…
To keep things simple (as I do love an easy life), the first three breathing techniques cover all the key breath patterns we explored in my earlier post. However, I’ve also included a few honourable mentions at the end — because when it comes to breath, there’s a lot to choose from.
This isn’t an exhaustive list. While I’m not one for minimalism when it comes to writing, covering every breathing technique known to man (and woman) would be a full-time blog in itself!
You’ll notice in the ‘how to’ sections below, I mention inhaling or exhaling for a certain number of counts. In the breathing world, you’ll often hear this term — but don’t worry. It simply means counting to the number in your head as you breathe (for example: 1… 2… 3… 4). Nothing fancy required!
Also, these counts aren’t strict rules — they’re gentle guides. So if it says 8 and you can only manage 5, that’s absolutely okay. Always follow what feels right for you. And if at any point you feel light-headed or something doesn’t feel quite right, stop and return to your natural breathing.
So, let’s begin by looking at our top three breathing techniques — ranked not by importance, but by popularity. We’re in the business of making friends with fear, and let’s be honest: there’s always a bit of a hierarchy in any friendship circle (unfortunately!).
1. Box Breathing (The popular one)
In fairness, although it pains me to agree with the mainstream, it deserves its popularity because it is incredibly effective and has helped me on more than one occasion.
What is it:
Box breathing is a simple, steady technique — like tracing the sides of a box with your breath: in, hold, out, hold. Structured, calming, and even used by the Navy SEALs to stay centred under pressure. So if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for us too!
How to do it:
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale through your nose for 4 counts, and hold again for 4 counts.
Continue for a few cycles and let the calm begin to build. (If nasal breathing feels tricky at first, start where you are and ease into it over time).
A quick note: Some versions of box breathing suggest exhaling through the mouth. Either way works — the key is to maintain a steady, even rhythm that feels calming to you.
How it works:
By regulating the rhythm of your breathing, it helps settle both the body and the mind — giving you a sense of control when everything feels a bit too much.
When to use it:
Box breathing is especially helpful in those panic-inducing moments — when your breathing feels fast, shallow, or stuck in your chest. Ideal for when fear is in response to something immediate and your system needs grounding. (You know that moment when you’re about to walk into a job interview and your brain says, “Nope, can’t do this”? Box breathing is your friend).
💡Desperate for a recap on the science-y bits in blog 3a (I’ve linked directly to the section on fast breathing). Feel free to take a peek 🌿→ Fast and Shallow Breathing.
2. The 4-7-8 Breath (The less popular but still highly regarded one)
It’s the second in command but equally valid technique — and it definitely deserves its own moment in the spotlight.
What is it:
A slightly deeper technique designed to slow the breath and ease the body into a more relaxed state.
How to do it:
Inhale through the nose for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, and exhale through the mouth for 8 counts.
Repeat for 3–4 cycles.
How it works:
This pattern helps calm the nervous system — especially useful when anxiety feels like it’s stuck on a loop. The extended exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system (which, if you want a quick refresher, we chatted about back in Blog 1 🌿→ rest, digest and recover mode), encouraging a sense of safety in both body and mind.
When to use it:
Perfect for moments when your breath feels irregular or like you just can’t quite catch a full breath. It’s also a lovely go-to when the mind is restless, whether during a stressful day or, more commonly, at night.
(Best for the night before that job interview, when it’s 4 a.m. and your mind is racing through everything that could go wrong tomorrow).
💡For a deeper dive/recap into irregular breathing (I’ve linked directly to the section in blog 3a). Feel free to take a look 🌿→ irregular breathing.
3. Belly Breathing (the often overlooked but equally as important one)
Or, to give it its full official name: Diaphragmatic Breathing.
Hands up who relates – know I do. Jokes aside, I feel this breathing technique is something we all deserve to know about, as you may remember, we briefly touched on this in the previous post. (In case you missed it here’s the link. 🌿→ Breathing As It Was Meant to Be). As promised, let’s have a closer look at what this technique actually is:
What is it:
Belly breathing is a simple but powerful technique that encourages full, deep breaths by engaging the diaphragm. Instead of the chest rising and falling, the belly gently expands on the inhale and softens on the exhale — creating a calm, steady rhythm.
How to do it:
- Sit or lie down, however you feel comfortable — just try not to fall asleep (I speak from experience!).
- Place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest.
- Inhale through your nose for a count of 4, feeling your belly rise while keeping your chest as still as possible.
- Exhale slowly for a count of 6 through the mouth, pursing your lips slightly. If it helps, imagine you’re blowing out your birthday candles — nice and slowly.
- Repeat for several cycles, focusing on the rise and fall of the belly. And most importantly, enjoy the peace!
How it works:
By shifting the breath down into the belly, this technique encourages the diaphragm to do its job properly. This not only reduces breath-holding and tension but also activates the parasympathetic nervous system — promoting that sense of rest, digest and, recover.
When to use it:
Ideal when you notice yourself holding your breath or bracing in response to fear, stress, or anxiety. It’s also a go-to when you catch yourself breathing solely into your chest or switching to mouth breathing. In short — it’s an all-rounder in the breathing world. (It’s also a lovely one to use before bed. Honestly, anytime you just need to give yourself a moment to breathe, relax, or reset. I use it when my head’s in a spin — which is most days!)
💡Curious about the breathing challenges we’ve mentioned? (I’ve linked directly to the sections below in blog 3a). Treat yourself to a little more information:
🌿 → Breath-Holding
🌬️→ Chest Breathing
And a Few Honourable Mentions…
While these three techniques cover the big hitters, I couldn’t resist adding a few more gentle favourites. After all, the breath is a generous friend — and the more tools we have, the better equipped we’ll be for whatever fear (or life) throws our way.
And since I created this space with my fellow quiet, sensitive, and shy souls in mind, it feels only right to celebrate a few lesser-known but equally loved techniques. After all, many of us know all too well what it’s like to go unnoticed or feel like we don’t quite ‘fit’ in. So here we go!
Extended Exhale Breathing (The Steady Soother)
It’s dependable, quiet, and nobody even knows you’re doing it.
What is it:
A gentle technique where the length of your exhale is longer than your inhale. It’s really simple but has a powerful effect on calming the nervous system and slowing down racing thoughts — my kind of breath!
How to do it:
- Inhale through your nose for a count of 4.
- Exhale through your mouth for a count of 8. Ideally, double the length of your inhale.
- Repeat for a few cycles, allowing the breath to slow and settle naturally.
How it works:
Lengthening the exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system (you know the rest!). It sends a gentle signal to your body that it’s safe to relax, grounding you when things feel overwhelming.
When to use it:
Lovely for those moments when anxiety creeps in, as it so often does, or when you’re on emotional alert but can’t quite pinpoint why. (Perfect for those days where you haven’t had a moment to think and just need some peace!).
Sighing Breath (The Unsung Hero)
Typically referred to as: The Physiological Sigh. And who doesn’t love a good sigh once in a while?
What is it:
A natural reflex we often do without thinking — sighing. But when used intentionally, this double inhale followed by a long sighing exhale can quickly reduce stress and reset your breathing pattern. It’s a sigh you can get away with!
How to do it:
- Take a short inhale through your nose (try not to exhale).
- Take a second, slightly deeper inhale (also through your nose).
- Exhale slowly and fully through your mouth with a soft sighing sound.
- Repeat 1 to 3 times, or for as long as you need.
How it works:
The double inhale opens up the tiny air sacs in your lungs (alveoli, if you’re interested in the technical term), allowing for a more effective exhale. This helps offload excess carbon dioxide, which can build up during anxious breathing and contribute to feeling short of breath or panicky.
When to use it:
Perfect for those quick, in-the-moment resets, anytime you feel your breath tightening.
Quick note: Although a sigh is often loud, it can also be quiet. I don’t know about you, but the idea of loudly sighing in public is off-putting to say the least! Honestly, even in a yoga session where it’s expected, I’m still at the back, looking around and sighing discreetly. (The end result is the same — I promise!).
The Power of The Breath
So, in today’s post, we’ve explored quite the toolkit of breathing techniques — from the popular to the often overlooked. While each one takes a different approach, they all share one common goal: to offer a simple, steady way to ease fear and anxiety when they inevitably strike.
But beyond the techniques, there’s something even more important to remember: your breath is always with you. It stands by your side in the moments you need it most — and can also act as a gentle guide in the quieter moments of life. It’s a constant companion, patiently waiting to support you whenever you call on it.
It doesn’t ask for perfection. It doesn’t need to be ‘done right.’ All it needs is a little attention now and then. And let’s be honest — who among us doesn’t need a bit of care and attention from time to time? It’s a basic human need, after all.
When our breath becomes more than just a survival tool — when it becomes a friend — we’re far better equipped to face our spotlights, no matter how bright or daunting they may seem. And in those moments, even if discomfort lingers, we step forward with something far more powerful than ease alone: the quiet reassurance that we can trust ourselves.
And we’ll carry that trust with us as we move forward in our fear friendship journey.
Until Next Time…
In the last two posts, we’ve focused on our breath, so it’s only fair we now give our physical bodies some much-needed attention — especially when fear and anxiety are involved.
In my next post (Let’s Get Physical — metaphorically speaking, of course), I’ll be diving into how fear and anxiety can be both an obvious disruption and a subtle little meddler when it comes to how we feel physically. From muscle tension to headaches, sleep disruption to that all-too-familiar energy zap — we’ll explore it all.
And as always, I’ll leave you with a question or two:
- Which breathing technique feels like the right fit for you?
- And how might it help you grow that friendship with fear?
Something to have a think about while I get busy working on blog 4 🌿→ Let’s Get Physical.
I’ll see you soon!
Charlotte 🪷
P.S. If you’re curious about the person who thinks befriending fear and chatting about breathing for hours is a perfectly normal pastime (spoiler: that would be me). Please click here to see my 🌿→ About Me Page.
And if you’re exploring how to befriend fear or breathe a little more gently through it all – there’s a little more about my 1:1 coaching here 🌿 → My Coaching.
