9a. Why Do I Procrastinate? It’s Not Laziness

Let’s Get Emotional With Procrastination: The Not-So-Lazy Way We Cope

Hello you, it’s lovely to see you and I’m so glad you’re here. Because today, we’re exploring a question I’ve asked myself many times – why do I procrastinate? It’s such a familiar yet deeply misunderstood emotional root. And the word itself has picked up quite the reputation over the years, often labelled as laziness, irresponsibility, or just poor time management.

But here’s the truth – procrastination isn’t really about laziness at all. More often than not, it’s a quiet form of self-protection – a not-so-lazy coping strategy that tries to keep us safe, even if it sometimes holds us back.

So, if you’ve ever found yourself stuck between wanting to step into your spotlight but somehow delaying the first step – or lingering in the planning phase for just a little too long – you’re in good company here.

Today, we’re gently turning this old story on its head and exploring why procrastination deserves a kinder, more compassionate perspective.

And as I always say – get comfy, get settled and pop the kettle on. And I’ll begin with a few advisory notes.

So, before procrastination persuades us to tidy the house instead, here’s a little TL;DR (that’s internet speak for Too Long; Didn’t Read – apparently). In other words, it’s a short and sweet summary of what this post explores with no avoidance necessary:

Now, if you’re short on time and want to get straight to the good bits 🌿 → click here to jump to – what is procrastination?

However, for those who (like me 🤗) might be tempted to linger a little longer – or even delay diving in altogether – I’ve tucked a few extras below. You’ll find the Procrastination Mini-Series Roadmap, this post’s contents, and a quick reflection on last week’s post on perfectionism.

I’d honestly recommend giving that recap a read – perfectionism and procrastination are quiet partners in crime and understanding one can make a world of difference in understanding the other.

A Quick Peek at What’s Ahead:

🪞 Reflecting Back To Last Week’s Post

What is Procrastination?

Pause – Delay – Avoid

Before we can understand why we procrastinate, it helps to explore what procrastination really is.

In simple terms, it’s the act of delaying, avoiding, or postponing a task – even when we know it might cause us more stress in the future.

And more often than not, it’s the tasks that mean the most to us that we find ourselves putting off.

It’s not always loud or obvious, but at its core:

We press pause.

We delay.

We distract

And we avoid.

Not because we don’t care – but because we really do.

Beyond Deadlines – Why Procrastination Runs Deeper

It’s all last minute.com

There’s a common misconception that procrastination is just about deadlines.

Or more specifically, that it only applies to university students pulling all-nighters, fuelled by coffee and Pro Plus, frantically trying to get the work done.

But procrastination extends far beyond the university halls.

In fact, the whole concept of lastminute.com illustrates this point. The phrase comes from the real travel website lastminute.com – no surprises there.

But somewhere along the line, the phrase caught the public’s attention and quietly expanded beyond cheap flights and hotel deals. And it’s this popular use that shows us something important – procrastination extends way beyond coursework deadlines.

People use it in everyday conversation as a kind of tongue-in-cheek confession when they’ve left something right up to – well – the last minute. And it’s not the only phrase we use either:

“I’m so lastminute.com with this.”
“Very much done at the eleventh hour.”
“I got there by the skin of my teeth.”
“It was a last-ditch effort, but I got it done.”

We humans have plenty of one-liners for this kind of thing – but they all describe the same emotional pattern. Procrastination. And the fact there are so many? Well, I think that shows just how deeply human this behaviour is.

Connecting the Dots – Why We All Procrastinate Sometimes

We tend to view things in isolation.

Now, I could easily wander down a whole rabbit hole about how modern life tends to focus on isolated things – rather than looking at what links them all together.

And of course – we Brits love humour. We use it to make sense of life. To cope. Or, at the very least, to get through it. I’m all for that – I do it often.

But in this case, I do think it’s worth a peek underneath the jokes and phrases.

Because it’s when we connect patterns that we begin to make sense of things. That’s where the meaning lives. And from there, we can name a behaviour for what it really is – rather than wrapping it in well-phrased paper.

Personally, I feel society would benefit from being more open and honest about our deepest feelings. Because when we do this – when we name them clearly – we stop hiding behind them.

It allows us the space to honour how we feel, rather than create more resistance to facing it.

And when we actually look beneath the lastminute.com mindset, we begin to notice something important.

That procrastination is universal. I’m pretty sure we’ve all fallen into it at one point or another. Some of us definitely use it more than others – but if nothing else, it’s comforting to know we’re not alone.

The tricky bit is, when we brush it off as a harmless habit, we can quietly diminish the true impact this pattern has on our health, our emotions, and our sense of self-trust.

Because it’s not just about tasks. Or even deadlines.

It’s about the way we feel. And how we feel about it. Sometimes, it’s even about life itself.

Why Procrastination Is Really About Fear

Fear doing its best to keep up safe.

It’s here where I feel we need to name procrastination for what it really is and go beyond the trivial side of it.

It’s a form of emotional avoidance.

A way of stepping back from the feelings we can’t quite face. And more often than not, it’s not the task we’re avoiding.

It’s the emotion we’ve attached to it.

We delay because we fear the outcome. Or, it’s the weight of wanting to get it just right that makes starting feel impossible.

Everyday Examples – How Fear Fuels Procrastination

Its buttercream meets big feelings

Personally, I love the idea of cake decorating. But because I’ve never done it before, I worry that my first few tries will be awful – obviously. And because it’s such a visual thing, the thought of getting it wrong, of creating something that could only be described as a colourful mess, quietly stops me from even giving it a go.

So instead, I say ‘one day.’

Well, it’s been a while and that day has yet to come.

I’ve definitely made some progress. I still watch the cake decorating videos. But if I’m really honest, that’s not passion or drive at the wheel – it’s procrastination doing its thing. It’s distraction.

And I’ll admit, perfectionism has joined the party too. So my cake-decorating dreams? They’ve quietly paid the price for it.

‘We’ll Do It Later’

We avoid things because they feel too big, too unknown, or too likely to go wrong. Sometimes it’s the quiet dread of failure. Other times, it’s the fear of success and what that might mean for our future.

And in the moment, this pattern works.

We get a little relief, because by delaying whatever it is we wanted to do, we’ve avoided the discomfort we feel is coming with it.

But over time, that moment of relief slowly turns into a cycle.

The longer we wait, the heavier the task starts to feel. And the heavier it feels, the more likely we are to put it off again.

Until eventually, it becomes a pattern. But like most patterns, its aim isn’t to harm us – it’s to protect us. Our nervous system is doing its job, quietly saying:

“This doesn’t feel safe. Let’s wait until it does.”

Procrastination As Self-Protection

But it’s short-term protection at the cost of long-term growth.

It’s our mind’s way of wrapping us up in cotton wool – safe and settled, for now. But eventually, the wool starts to cling. It stops feeling soft and comfortable. It starts to itch and restrict.

At that point, we face two choices. We can step into the fear and gently remove the wool. Or, we can add another fresh layer and settle back in.

Option one asks for courage. Option two lures us back into safety and the cycle quietly continues.

That’s where the emotional root quietly lives and grows. Under the safety of our mind’s own version of fluffy, warm cotton wool.

Which is why procrastination isn’t laziness, poor planning, or a lack of motivation. Quite the opposite. It’s fear, in its many different forms.

Fear of failure, of judgement, of uncertainty, overwhelm, rejection. And the list goes on.

Its Not About Cake Decorating

I can try to convince myself that I don’t have what it takes to decorate cakes. Or tell myself it wasn’t meant to be.

But in reality, that’s not why I’m avoiding it.

Fear of piping bags and fondant icing have very little – if anything – to do with it.

It’s the fear of opening my eyes to the truth that I’m a perfectionist. The quiet knowing that I worry about getting things wrong. Or the idea that I’ll spend time and effort trying, only to present it to others and feel rejected for it.

So the cake becomes the scapegoat. It takes the blame for all my simmering fears – along with the small, slightly irrational waves of anger I feel when I find myself watching cake-decorating shorts on YouTube. I’m working on this. The sheer skill both amazes, baffles, and irritates me in one 30-second clip. We all have our egos.

Now, I share this lightly. Truthfully, blogging is more my thing and cake decorating would probably only serve as a hobby. But it’s a perfect example of how even the smallest of things – or the newest of hobbies – can quietly create a procrastination cycle.

And in doing so, they often uncover the subtle fears hanging behind them.

Procrastinating Without The Deadline

And of course, there’s no deadline on cake decorating. No looming end date to count down the days. And it’s here where procrastination becomes even trickier.

Because although I would never recommend a caffeine-fuelled all-nighter, they do at least prove one thing: avoidance often still leads to action – eventually. Usually because time is of the essence.

For some people, that last-minute panic even seems to work. They’ll tell you they do their best work under pressure. And for some personalities, maybe that’s true.

But here’s the question I always want to ask:

How do you know it’s your best work – if you’ve never tried giving it a little more time?

And when there’s no deadline at all, the last-minute push never comes. There’s no reason to spring into action. And this is how the cycle can quietly continue – not for days or weeks, but for months, sometimes even years.

And the longer we wait, the more the fear grows.

Procrastination or Avoidance? Understanding the Difference

I’ll be honest – despite reading a fair bit about both, I still find the line between them a little blurry.

The classic definitions go something like this:

• Procrastination means delaying something you still intend to do.
• Avoidance means pushing something away completely – sometimes for good.

And technically, that makes sense. But in real life? It’s rarely that simple.

Because whether we’re putting something off for a day, a month, or a decade, the emotional root often looks the same:

A part of us doesn’t feel ready – or safe – to face it yet.

And that’s where I think the focus should be.

We might procrastinate calling the dentist for six months. Is that avoidance or procrastination? Technically… both. But emotionally, the “why” underneath matters far more than the label.

So instead of asking:

“What do I call this?”

Maybe the better question is:

“What might this be protecting me from?”
“And what do I need to feel just safe enough to take one small step?”

Because whether it’s procrastination, avoidance, or somewhere in-between, it’s not a character flaw. It’s an emotional response.

And when we meet that with compassion – not criticism – we often find the first thread we can gently start to untangle.

What Research Says About Why We Procrastinate

From panic monsters to health warnings

Now, I’ve shared a lot of my own thoughts here and I remember back at university, you’d get nowhere without references.

So here’s some – as I often hear the kids say – receipts.

Both Fuschia Sirois and Tim Urban have explored procrastination in their own unique ways. And while their approaches differ, I think they both highlight something important: procrastination is about emotion.

The Health Consequences of Procrastination

Fuschia Sirois, a professor and researcher who studies health and wellbeing, points out that procrastination has real-life consequences.

In her TED Talk, she shares a story about a man who was a chronic procrastinator – and sadly, it contributed to his untimely death in his late 40s.

It’s a heavy take, and I’m sure there were other factors at play. But it makes a crucial point: procrastination isn’t just a quirky habit or a productivity issue. It can affect our health, our relationships and our overall wellbeing.

I share this not to scare you – although I’ll admit, it did create some discomfort in me when I first heard it. I am a serial procrastinator and it felt as if she was speaking to my soul.

But it also highlights how close the lines are between avoidance and procrastination. And her take on how we approach it from a place of acceptance and forgiveness is something I completely agree with. And I’ll be building on that in part two.

I’ve popped the link to her TED Talk here if you’d like to watch it. It’s about 15 minutes long – and honestly, it’s a healthy dose of procrastination in itself. 🌿 → Here’s the real reason you procrastinate | Fuschia Sirois | TEDxNewcastle.

The Instant Gratification Monkey

Author and fellow blogger Tim Urban takes a more humorous but equally insightful approach.

In his talk and blog, he introduces the Instant Gratification Monkey – a part of our mind that wants to avoid discomfort and stay safely in the zone of YouTube rabbit holes, scrolling and snacks. It explains why when you sit down to do something important, you suddenly get the urge to clean out the fridge or do a bit of spring cleaning.

The monkey can take the wheel for a while, especially if the deadline is ages away. He illustrates this beautifully (literally) on his blog. His stick men figures give me hope for my art.

Then comes the Panic Monster – the sudden jolt of fear that kicks in when a deadline is looming. That’s when we spring into action, usually in a bit of a mess. This explains the all-nighters and sugar-fuelled cram sessions.

But Tim also found that when he asked people to share what they procrastinate on, most of them mentioned things that don’t have deadlines. Big life decisions. Health issues. Personal goals. Things with no ticking clock.

And because those things don’t have a looming deadline, the Panic Monster never shows up. Which is why we can stay stuck for years.

I’ve linked to his Youtube video here. It’s about 14 minutes long

🌿 → Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator | Tim Urban | TED

And I’ve linked to his original blog post that sparked the TED talk invitation here too

🌿 → Why Procrastinators Procrastinate

The Emotional Cost of Procrastination

So whether it’s cake decorating, starting a blog, leaving a job, or finally booking that appointment you’ve been putting off – it’s rarely just about the task itself.

It’s fear, uncertainty and the very human desire to avoid discomfort. But as we know, life is uncomfortable sometimes and when we avoid something for too long, we end up living in the very situation we were trying to escape.

And often, we pile extra emotions on top – shame, guilt, frustration – because deep down, we know we’re avoiding something. Yet the more shame we feel, the more likely we are to stay stuck.

This definitely happened to me on a recent dentist trip. I delayed treatment because I was ashamed of having delayed it in the first place. A classic procrastination loop in the wild.

Procrastination May Provide The Key

Honestly, had I planned my blog series in advance (to be fair, that’s not really my style), I probably would have started with procrastination as the first emotional root of our spotlight.

Not because it’s the only one that matters – but because it often feels like the gatekeeper. The first doll in the Russian Doll of human emotions.

We think it’s just procrastination – but once we lift the lid, there’s usually something else quietly sitting underneath.

It’s often the first drawer in our emotional filling cabinet.

Procrastination & Me

If you’ve recognised yourself in any of this today, please know you’re not alone. I’m right here with you.

Honestly, since I began my blogging journey, it’s found a new lease of life in my world. Most blogs? They’re finished at the last minute. This one included.

Which is why next week’s post on managing procrastination feels like a bit of a win-win for me. Not only do I have no excuses to avoid researching and – most importantly – trying the strategies I’ll be sharing, but I get to tackle perfectionism at the same time.

I share this because I’m human too – learning and growing, just like you. And the more we say these things out loud, the more we soften the stigma around all the messy, complicated emotions we carry.

Maybe – just maybe – the more we do that together, the easier it becomes to have these feelings without shame.

Until Next Time…

In part two, we’ll gently explore ways to ease procrastination’s grip – without shaming ourselves for having it in the first place. We’ll look at how to work with it, not against it. And how to take those small steps forward, even when fear is quietly in the background.

(🌿 → Here’s part two: How to Stop Procrastinating Without Pressure)

For now though, no action is needed. No tasks to tick off. Just a moment of calm.

Maybe take a breath, have a stretch, and ask yourself:

What’s one small thing I’ve been avoiding – and what might it be protecting me from?

I’ll see you soon,

Charlotte 🪷

Before you Go:

Not ready for that? You can explore how coaching works here 🌿→ Coaching Page

FAQ: Why Do I Procrastinate?

I’ll be honest, this next little section is partly here for SEO purposes (so people searching for “why do I procrastinate?” can actually find this post on the old Google). It’s one of those practical bits of blog admin that procrastination would absolutely love to delay.

However, since you’re already here (and not avoiding this topic 🤗), you never know – it might also serve as the perfect little recap of everything we’ve explored today.

Made it to the end and beautifully done 🫶

Gentle Note: This post is for general informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. For more information please click here 🌿→ Disclaimer Page.